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I do think we all have a duty to help others, and this has to be seen as symmetric.  That is a big 'and'.

So just keeping out of the way, and doing nothing, is a serious cop out.

Telling someone to do something or how to do something,  is just plain wrong in general.

I think the correct etiquette should be something like 

'   What I see is ...  , have you thought of... '

'  I don't understand what you are trying to do,  just shout if you want any help'

'   I cannot work out what you are trying to do,  it looks to me  like ...'  

'  It looks as if you are having some difficulty doing something, shout if you want any help'

I am sure you can improve on these.  But I hope you see the attempt at equality.  It is terribly easy to imply the notion that whereas I are sane, you are mad or gaga.  

Even little things 'want' rather than 'need' are quite important.  If you give the impression that you are superior, then to my mind you have blown it.

Now I am not saying you will manage to achieve perfection.  But I do think that you should try.

Provided there is no danger involved, you should not ignore someone who you think is mentally or physically lost.

I suppose it is a version of the good semaritan that I am proposing.

The current people who tend to be my neighbours at meal times are in need of better treatment, even though I think one is a hopeless and the other has a rather long and difficult journey.  One sneers at me, and the other may not see me.

I think in some way it is my mother's quaker education at Ackworth school that is behind my thoughts here, and I am eternally grateful to her for that.

M

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